Two different stories in the news today about Swiss and Business Class seating have me laughing a bit. Each in their own right is a bit entertaining. Combined, however, they are pure comedic genius.
First up, Swiss CEO Henry Hohmeister was giving an interview to travel blogger Cranky Flier. In the interview Hohmeister comments on Star Alliance partner United Airlines and their premium cabin connecting options. Specifically the dig is against United’s now retired Ted product, an all-coach offering. Despite that product being retired, the CEO still brings up the issue of all-coach connections thusly:
But, business class has an important value with hub connecting itineraries. You can’t fly someone in business class from San Francisco to Zurich in business class and then within Europe in coach.
OK, but when was the last time Hohmeister flew on an intra-Europe Business Class product? With the exception of some Aeroflot offerings, there really is not much to recommend them. The seat pitch is the same as the regular seats in the back. The food offering is slightly better, but with most flights under two hours that isn’t a tremendous benefit. Oh, and a blocked middle seat. So you can be wider, or turn sortof sideways, and you can eat more, but otherwise not much benefit. Compared to a JetBlue Airbus A320 product – an all-coach offering in the USA – the European Biz Class offering is actually pretty awful.
OK, so the guy is apparently a bit out of touch and beating a horse so dead that United actually killed it. On to story number two.
A model from Russia has filed a lawsuit against Swiss claiming that the lack of sufficient pitch in their business class cabin actually resulted in her suffering injuries during a recent flight. Irene Ferrari was flying from Moscow to Zurich when the plane experienced turbulence and she struck the seat in front of her. So why is this actually news?
It turns out that Ferrari holds the title of owner of the largest silicone breast implants in Russia – a title won “in a respective competition” – and that the implants actually functioned to help keep her from breaking a rib when crashing into the seat in front of her. But the pain caused by the bruising and pain from the impact made her ill and ruined her vacation.
It was a strong blow and I hit my left breast. I was in pain. When I went to see a surgeon in Russia I was told I have problems with my breast.
She said she always flies business class because the distance between the seats is larger and she can fit her breast well. It turned out that on that particular flight business class seat was no different than the economy seat. She is seeking compensation of €100,000 for her troubles.
Apparently Hohmeister needs to look into the seating in the carrier’s business class product. It isn’t big enough to handle the Russians who need the space for their fake boobs.
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