35 Responses

  1. mommypoints
    mommypoints at |

    That was funny. 😉

  2. Steven
    Steven at |

    Hey, it’s about time you posted a trip from hell that really wasn’t. After all, you’re like the only UA flying blogger who hasn’t done so yet.

    That said, while it truly wasn’t a trip from hell (most so-called trips aren’t), it does suck that they’ve downgraded the catering and that the crew was lousy. Those are things that really need to get turned around, and I fear that the company isn’t really that focused on those tasks right now.

    And that IFE should have been ripped out at least five years ago. They’ve held onto that system on the 767s for far too long.

  3. Jamison
    Jamison at |

    switch over to the dAArkside…….

  4. applezz13
    applezz13 at |

    I flew IAH-HNL last week. I also noticed the video with Continental in it.

  5. Gugu
    Gugu at |

    Being such a tolerant “Global Service” you apparently see it as “normal” to be threatened with arrest for trying to chat with pilots. Perhaps time to fly Southwest. Continental seems too full of themselves, good that at least they plaster Continental all over. Seriously, the service is not acceptable and flight attendants have to be written up.

  6. LarryInNYC
    LarryInNYC at |

    Guess on this trip you just weren’t lucky.

  7. JD
    JD at |

    I flew MSY-SFO last week on a reconfigured 737-800, the captain welcomed us on behalf of “Continental” and the “Continental” Newark-based crew on “this merged Continental-United plane”. I understand the pride but seriously it just shows a lack of professionalism.

  8. Stacey @ Verygoodpoints
    Stacey @ Verygoodpoints at |

    Did you really mean homogenization? I’m not a scientist (actually failed science)…but isn’t this usually used in chemistry references?

    Love the post! Classic! I suspect they kept the rolls from you so u couldn’t throw them at anyone! A few too many Mai Tais and the bread starts rolling!

  9. Scott
    Scott at |

    Sounds like my trips, they’re bad, but not as bad as I feel they are in my head after I’ve had to deal with crap service and things just don’t done right… none-the-less, made me chuckle.

  10. AS
    AS at |

    This was awesome. There are other people out there who would have written this post and been dead serious about it.

  11. Adam
    Adam at |

    I get what you’re trying to do here, and I totally agree that the sky hasn’t fallen completely (although I have seen some pretty terrible irrops handling). However, your point gets a little lost when you do admit that the flight wasn’t very good compared to pmUA and pmCO standards. It comes across as “it is totally ridiculous that people would complain about the new UA, except the catering isn’t as good, the crew isn’t very good, the IFE isn’t very good…)” which seem like pretty legit reasons to complain that they’ve gone downhill

  12. LarryInNYC
    LarryInNYC at |

    I’ll try again, with the appropriate capitalization this time:

    I guess on this flight you just weren’t Lucky.

  13. Victor
    Victor at |

    I know this was VERY tongue-in-cheek but seriously, that food looked NASTY!

  14. Arnold Semmons
    Arnold Semmons at |

    Flight attendants who get assigned to those really long flights are usually the ones with the most seniority (meaning they look like my grandmother). They’re tired of working with the public after 20-plus years of doing it. Unfortunately you won’t usually get good service from them, even after you’ve paid full fare on a first class ticket. The union protects them if you complain, and that’s just life. It *is* very sad how most of the carriers seem to be in a race to the bottom. That’s why I will never pay for a first or business class ticket any more… it’s just not worth it.

  15. jackal
    jackal at |

    As a recent convert to the UACO side of the airline industry, I don’t have much experience with how things used to be with which to make a comparison.

    However, I can tell you that there was a WORLD of difference between our EWR-HNL flight on sCO (a fact they were VERY proud of–too much so :rolleyes:) and my HNL-SFO flight on sUA, where I visited the flight deck and talked with a super-friendly flight crew and received top-notch service from our F FA (there was a level of professionalism in both his actions and attitude that was missing from the sCO crew).

    Interesting to compare the two back-to-back like that.

  16. Matthew
    Matthew at |

    Do tell about the arrest threats. How did it happen?

  17. Barry
    Barry at |

    Are you going to try Hawaiian airlines new non stop? I wonder how it would compare.

  18. Adam
    Adam at |

    Totally fair, I agree that people are claiming “merger! merger!” for just about everything, and some of the complaints verge on ridiculous.

    For me, all I’ve noticed is a lower upgrade rate, some worse than normal irrops handling, and a proliferation of the “the system won’t let me/I can’t help you” attitude (from *both* the pmCO and pmUA employees). Nothing over the top, but noticeably different (and less convenient on a few occasions).

  19. Ted
    Ted at |

    But did you get warm nuts? It would have been a funnier faux rant if you said stewardess instead of flight attendant.

  20. Golfingboy
    Golfingboy at |

    Setting aside the tongue in cheek remarks, which gave me a few chuckles and I enjoyed reading this trip report 🙂

    The only aspect I am disappointed about is the downgrade we are seeing in the meals.

    The F meals looks like the old mid-con dinner meals plus the sundae. The catering program has been watered down pretty significantly from what I am used to from the last two years. EWR-HNL used to have four choices, separate appetizer plate following by entree plate, and then ends with the sundae.

    The old mid-con dinner meals are now the norm for EWR-West Coast flights [sans SFO/LAX] and they created an entirely new meal rotation for domestic mid-con flights. Even though, routes like SAN and SNA does have plenty of premium paid F traffic, which will easily more than justify the costs of having a premium meal on both routes. The new mid-con meals are pretty pathetic and they went from a meat dish or a pasta dish to a carb loaded dish [burrito, calzone, etc] or a salad.

    Throw away the fancy nuts in the ramekin and the tiny on-board cookie along with the tablecloth, and give me a more substantial entree with a proper dessert.

    I know it is airplane food, but it was still decent for airplane food. Now, it is just reminds me of Y meals from the late 90s early 00s and F meals are VERY cheap [$10-12 per passenger for a two/three course meal].

    I am really worried about what the catering will be like on international long hauls when the new program starts in June.

  21. booyah
    booyah at |

    I’ve flown the EWR-HNL flight two weeks ago and cannot agree enough. I asked to be woken up and alas, NONE. Prior to that, i sat in a broken chair, no meal of choice and I was given a cert for 500 miles.. WTF. and then gently told I got a comp UG to the front. WTF! Its only cause i flew 120K last year… the pilot also mentioned it as a CO flight.
    I’ve flown regional carriers like HA to NRT and have loved it. the plane was not the best but the service was awesome. AND they werent full of AARP members.

  22. A loungeless layover in Honolulu - The Wandering Aramean

    […] The new United: A trip from hell […]

  23. Mike
    Mike at |

    Seth, as Untied Global Services pax, you should know that EWR-HNL features BusinessFaux service.

  24. chitownflyer
    chitownflyer at |

    The catering on your EWR-HNL flight looks much better than what my most recent Hawaii flights. On the LAX-OGG route, the meal was a choice of either Penne pasta in tomato sauce or beef. Neither was appealing, and there was a three hour departure delay, so Wolfgang Puck Express made for a much better dining alternative to bring on the flight.

  25. In Flight: Breakfast and lunch with United short-haul - The Wandering Aramean

    […] two nights on airplanes and a number of flights that had meal service. I showed some of the food from the longest segment – Newark to Honolulu – here but there were a few other United Airlines meals that offered up interesting dining […]

  26. UA 100K ASAP, but cheaply - FlyerTalk Forums

    […] 20 years and it has really gone downhill over the past few years. Then I read stuff like this: http://blog.wandr.me/thewan…rip-from-hell/ I have never actually gone on that flight, as I used to avoid HNL altogether. Scary. So, I'm not […]

  27. TROD
    TROD at |

    Are you freaking kidding me? My perception: Lucky you.. for flying first class, most commoners do not. You got there safely and on time. Thank your lucky stars you pompous ass!! Do you think the people who flown during 9/11 cared about the food they ate. And its very hard to believe that you were threaten with arrest for talking to the pilots (doors opened). Take the silver spoon out from your mouth into your ass. I have neighbors who have seen their homes washed away from Hurricane Sandy. WE ALL NEED TO GO BACK TO THE BASICS AND APPRECIATE WHAT WE HAVE, NOT WHAT WE DO NOT rather what you think you deserve.

  28. Rich
    Rich at |

    Amusing. Alas all airlines seem to be heading south. The really sad thing is that there are so many “I am important” types out there who could publish this review with their tongues not in their cheek.

  29. Nikolay Klimchuk
    Nikolay Klimchuk at |

    I’m flying EWR-HNL this Sunday in Economy (bloody hell they call it Economy+ which suppose to be original Economy but they did original Economy worse so now it’s Economy+). A little bit concern about level of service in the middle of airplane (trying not to think about back).
    How people usually survive without meal for 10 hours? I will see soon.
    Will keep you posted.

  30. robert
    robert at |

    What an absolute cry baby. R u for real ?. Poor boy didn’t get a roll or sissy drink for his ride and had to spend half a day pouting because he couldn’t speak with the pilot. Wow ! I’m not sure I’ve ever heard such a sad pathetic story. Such hardship for you. Suck up and grow a pair pal. Go home to mommy. She can give you milk from her breast and a warm cookie.